I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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