Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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