You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
