just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
and you fell through a lawn chair
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
