What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
