Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
