I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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