the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
