my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
