I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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