I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
