the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
