the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
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