It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
bring money and cleavage
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
