At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
