I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
