I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
