I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
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