So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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