too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
