A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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