Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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