Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
