She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize