It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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