it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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