I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
