thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I'm bleeding and have questions
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
