Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
