I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
