these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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