I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
