Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Just high enough for therapy.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Randomize