you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Randomize
