I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
