We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
