these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
