the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
