there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
its liver damage thursday
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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