He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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