I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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