he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am one with the molecules
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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