im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize