i was rollin on her like bob the builder
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
