i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
