He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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