I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
