I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
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