Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
this boner is exhausting
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize