Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
