no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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