Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
