Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize