i just had sex bonerless
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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