I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
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He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
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I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
tell me about the fingering
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