We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
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