She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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