We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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