You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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