I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
